Here is a quick rundown of the race:
- Pre-Race
- Very excited but a bit worried that the 90 degree temperatures are going to be a bit warmer than expected. That and no one trained in any temperatures above 80 degrees ... in fact, during my longest run it was 45 degrees.
- Mile 1
- Good times. This should be fun ... everything is going well. I think I might be able to pull this off
- Mile 2
- I just ran past the Alamo and it looks like a suburban two story house. Seriously, very underwhelming but the way I see it, I'm running over Santa Anna's army and I'm going to kick this race's ass. Six miles of trianing only ... pfft. I've done this before ... just win baby, win!
- Mile 3
- Damn ... it's hot. And these compression socks are only compression heat into my body. Why did I think this is a good idea? I'm at the 5K mark and I'm starting to feel those neat little pains in my shins and calves.
- Mile 4
- Ok, that's it, I'm exhausted, its 92 degrees and someone forgot to tell me that my wave included the 5K. I went from running with 3,000 people to 150 people. Not cool. Oh and I keep passing all these BBQ restaurants handing out free food. Absolute torture ... I wish I had some brisket to help me through this monster.
- Mile 5
- Welcome to Trinity University. Hopefully, someone here at Trinity University has some Vicodin because I'm pretty sure my right foot is re-broken. I can actually feel my pulse in my toe nail. Looks like there might be a hill on this mile ... but at least I'm running through a University and the Zoo! yeah, the school is right next to a zoo which looks kinda awesome. At least I'm getting to see some cool things on this race. Maybe I'll see a Polar Bear?
- Mile 6
- I haven't seen any animals, all the kids at this University are tools with stupid @$@#$ signs and this hill is now going on its second mile. Who in the hell thought it was a good idea to have a hill that covered multiple miles? Just passed a band called Death Parachute and they were awful. I thought this was the Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon and there were going to be good bands?
- Mile 7
- WTF - I'm still going up hill and I think I just saw the cast of the Biggest Loser sprinting up the side of the hill. Dolvet looked like he was beating one of the slower cast members with a rubber hose ... or maybe I'm hallucinating because its 92 in November and I'm running up a hill! A !@#$%!%! two mile hill.
- Mile 8
- Finally .... downhill. I officially can no longer feel my feet and for some reason, the scar tissue in my right shoulder decided to say hello. At least I'm out of that University and now in a really nice neighborhood.
- Mile 9
- No longer in a nice neighborhood and just passed a gay nightclub with a man standing out side wearing pasties and a Darth Vader mask. I'm not sure he's running the race but pretty sure he could pass me at this point. Oh and the woman in front of me just farted really loudly and I think the actually just shit herself. Nothing says HOT like having someone in front of you shit themselves as you are running.
- Mile 10
- OMG ... I can see the Alamodome. I'm only a 5K away from the finish line. I'm so excited, I can't wait to get there because I can't feel my legs, I just had some dude shit themselves and pretty sure they just handed out instruments to homeless people to play music along the race course.
- Mile 10.5
- @#$%!^!#$^ - super, my arm band for my iPhone 5S just ripped apart (Yarbuds - crap, don't buy it) and my iPhone 5S battery about to die. Seems like the wizards at Nike didn't build an ap that can last a half marathon. Great job guys ... hope you are enjoying the 50 degrees and rain back in Beaverton!
- Mile 10.6
- Yeah, !@#$!@#$ this ... I'm never running again. Time to walk kids. Passed my first passed out person lying on the side of the rode as some EMT's pour ice water all over him. The good news ... nipple band aids are holding up so no bleeding!
- Mile 10.7
- I think I just realized that I'm walking faster than my jogging pace over the last couple of miles. How is that possible?
- Mile 11
- Stopped for a quick stretch of the calves and that was a horrible idea. Calves are fine but my feet and hands are so swollen I need to ditch the shoes and the wedding ring is coming off. Oh and the water stations have resorted to handing out salt packets to everyone to help with hydration. Good news because this is the last water station for the next 2.1 miles ... bad planning.
- Mile 12
- This is my second 1/2 Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon and I've realized that the organizers are cruel !@#$@# and they like to end the races on stretched of land that involve no shade, concrete and even less water. The good news, we just merged with the Marathon runners and they are streaming past me. As if my self esteem wasn't crushed by the three mile hill, now I have really good runners striding past me like a herd of gazelles on the plains of Africa.
- Mile 13
- Yeah, @$!@#$ Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon, !$#~!# % this heat, !#$!@#$ San Antonio and the lack of water stations. Ugh, I'm not sure how I made it this far and pretty sure the next .1 might kill me
- Mile 13.05
- Photo shot - no smile, game face. Fist to the chest ... I'm not smiling ... very little about this race was fun for me. oh and good news ... the nipple band aids worked. No chafing ... but pretty sure my right foot is re-broken.
- Mile 13.1
- And we are done ... time was horrible but at least I finished the bastard. I'm exhausted, hot, miserable and in need of an IV and some serious pain meds. Dreading that fact that I'm headed to the airport and will sit on a plane for the next couple of hours.
So that was a glimpse into my inner monologue for the race. I'd have to say that not being able to train properly was a real reason for my misery. I learned a key lesson that you can't just go wing a half marathon. That's a terrible idea and anyone that thinks its a good idea should be electrocuted. Of course, the guy that came in second place in the marathon, did it in 2:30 and had never run a race before. Bastard ...
And of course, you would think I hate running and will never do another race ... and you would be wrong. I've decided that I'm actually going to fully train for the next one and get my ass an gear. I have five months to prepare for the Atlanta Half Marathon ... BRING IT! oh and can someone please bring me my advil, it's Wednesday and I still can't feel my legs.
